a n i m a t i o n . w o r d s & p i c t u r e s . f o r u m

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Jesus Pictures

By: Josh
04.05.01

Well, spring is upon us, time for people put away their snowmobiles and dust off those dirt bikes! The smell of dog shit thawing out, and rednecks coming out of the woodworks. Ah the joi de vive of it all.

Anyway, while perusing the net for some Jesus-spanking good fun, I stumbled upon a site, called something dumb and jesus-related, an online "museum" of jesus art. At the bottom of the screen, the webmaster requested that any pictures of Jesus anyone had be sent in to him. So I thought to myself, what would jesus do? And it came to me, I had an epiphany, and sent in the Jesus-fellatio picture from the DC archive page, with a link to FS. I didn't make that picture by the way, the fellow at ins0mnia was kind enough to let me use it. So I sent it in, hoping merely to piss off another Christian, but the guy e-mailed me back. Very oddly, I might add.

Nice picture. Thank you, I did not have one of Jesus counselling a child. Also, I have attached a slide show I made for Easter you might like to see.

FREAK! FREAK! FREAKY FUCKING JESUS FREAK! What sort of denial do you have to be in NOT to see JESUS GETTING HEAD FROM A SMALL CHILD? Bastards! Suffice it to say it was the most shoddily put together, boring as hell, lacking any savior porn-type slide show I'd ever seen. But, as is tradition, I decided to see how this fellow would put up with a barrage of Jesus pictures, no one doesn't get pissed off when I want to piss them off.....no one. This was the first one I sent in -

- with the subject text

"That's a mighty fine slide show you have there, would you ever consider adding this picture to it? I think it holds deeps significance in the fact that many people believe that Christianity is discriminatory towards women, but as is depicted here: Jesus just wants a little ass."

Needless to say, I received no reply. Is this a deterrent? No sir, it isn't, I'm sure he has just opted to ignore me. See, the real kicker is I can add the actual picture into the physical body of the e-mail, I don't have to attach it, so at least I know he sees them when he opens the mail. So, using my parents e-mail address, I sent in this nifty little gif I swiped from Dave's cartoon Spiffy and Chippy at Peace.

Still no reply: the rat bastard sends me his shit, I reply in kind, and what thanks do I get? None! I even took the time to get still shots from a cartoon fir christs sake! It's just not fair. In a last ditch attempt, using Dave's e-mail address, I sent him this little ditty.

With the caption

"This is a Jesus Doll, I hope you like it. I take one with me everywhere I go: at work, to Church every sunday, it's a multipurpose little friend."

Okay, jesus crucified dressed up as the devil? That would piss any christian off, and if not, then he can go to hell for all I care. Well, that said and done, I feel justified that I acted accordingly and with all civility and manners taken into account. I mean I watched his WHOLE fucking slide show. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Cold and jesusy.

Stay tuned for some more SPAM-fucking antics, we've got a doosy lined up.

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